State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
