I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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