It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dicks are not precious.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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