just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
