i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
