Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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