Kiss
Puke
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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