We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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