What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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