We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
