If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
