The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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