you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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