I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm really busy with my period
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