I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
