So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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