I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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