Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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