Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
