If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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