i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
