Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
