can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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