adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
