ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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