i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
