Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
