Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
