so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize