I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
