i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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