I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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