FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
