sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Even my vagina gasped.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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