So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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