Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just google imaged poop.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
