dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
