It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
