you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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