I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
