Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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