We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
