There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
