I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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