I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
