i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
