just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
