i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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