I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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