Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
