wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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