i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
