is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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