New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
