I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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