Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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