I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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