your room smells of hookers.
And success
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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