Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
