Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My liver just had a heart attack.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
