it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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