she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
