so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
third nipple confirmed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
