But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
