i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
